Very bad geographical jokes from Twitter

Me and a couple of people on twitter started banging these out in December and they were really making us chuckle, I dont normally look back on tweets but I thought I would pile them all together, so sorry, not the usual bilious blog, but fuck it, fuck you?...

blogstrop Ourmatedick

I just took my mother in laws murdered corpse to the indian capital of andhra pradesh. hyderabad? no, I did a good job. #indianjokes

blogstrop Ourmatedick

Ive just met a lovely girl in indias smallest state (by area). Goa? I dont now yet, we've just met #indianjokes

blogstrop Ourmatedick

Ive just been to a gay bar in the chief port city of the indian state of karnataka. "mangalore? - no, there was hardly any there.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

@@RockerRunner my girlfriend in pennsylvania has got a yeast infection with some dischage, oh philadelphia? no, just a bit of thrush.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

i've just got back from the capital of tamil nadu, cant remember the name. Chennai I reckon. No, honest, I was there. #indianjokes

blogstrop Ourmatedick

just been on a 1st date with a girl from the capital of chhattisgarh. raipur? no, I was a gentleman #indianjokes

RockerRunner Captain Spiderpussy

@blogstrop I've been shopping with my parents in the city formerly known as Bombay... "Mumbai?" No, Dad paid for everything. #indianjokes

blogstrop Ourmatedick

ive just been to the funeral of the comedian known as the diddy man in the 6th largest city in israel. Ashdod? No, he was buried.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

Ive just been to a land locked country in south america with an army mate. Paraguay? no, he was infantry.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

ive just taken my mates kid on holiday to the 6th largest city in france. Nantes? Oy, I never touched him...

the_spiz TIM@blogstrop I've written a long book about the capital of the Champagne region... Reims? Well, not quite that much

blogstrop Ourmatedick

I just met my japanese friend cordially mid-way on the Met Line - Harrow on the Hill? No, It was a Hi ya on the platform.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

They have just opened a safe house for paedophiles at the end of the central line. Theydon Bois? Yes, girls too, dirty bastards

blogstrop Ourmatedick

Ive just been vegetable shopping near new cross -Brockley? I brought all sorts.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

nobody would ever fuck my sister who lives between tooting and wimbledon. Colliers Wood? Yes, I suppose so, the welsh would fuck anything

blogstrop Ourmatedick

I always get excited when I drink dry sweet wines from a golden skinned grape. Semillon? yes, sometimes even a full erection.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

my father has just been buried in the capital of iraq. Baghdad? no, he had a coffin.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

im trying to transport some large male bovine livestock in the capital of afghanistan. Kabul? i hailed one but it didnt stop

blogstrop Ourmatedick

Im taking my girlfriend from karachi to the capital of azerbaijan for a holiday. Baki? fuck you racist cunt.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

im taking the female singer on the hit "dont go breaking my heart" to hawaii for some surfing. waikiki? well, im not going with elton!

blogstrop Ourmatedick

lady gaga told me she was going to montevideo for a video shoot, I said Uraguay? she slapped me and stormed off.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

ive just seen father christmas driving up and down a notorious gay strip in argentina. santa cruz? looked like it to me.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

my girlfriend in columbia has just dumped me for playing musical instraments in the shitter. Bogata? yes, and trumpet in the lounge

blogstrop Ourmatedick

my girlfriend has locked herself in the toilet and wont come out in st georges. grenada? bit harsh.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

ive got some wonderful footage of the ww2 hero of the desert rats in my house in uraguay. montevideo? no, its on dvd.

ImGarethDennett Gareth Dennett

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@blogstrop I saw Jessica Fletcher helping a murder inquiry in Colombia's second biggest city. "Medellin?" Yeah she was interfering a bit

blogstrop Ourmatedick

ive just been doing some pest control in brades. montserrat? no, but it was a pretty big mouse.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

my girlfriend just had a smear test in tripoli. Libya? yes, they looked at the other bits too.

Ketherbound Gray Smears

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@blogstrop Dealing with a distraught german singer; Nina. Under pressure to perform in the Danish capital. "Copenhagen?" Yeh, but only just.

blogstrop Ourmatedick

my mate got attacked by a flock of birds in south london. peckham? they did more than that, they ripped his eyes out via @baronbattersea

blogstrop Ourmatedick

my dyslexic friend in belarus keeps messing my order for fur coats up because of his spelling. Minsk? thats right, dopey cunt

RockerRunner Captain Spiderpussy@blogstrop Me and a downs syndrome kid just got back from a landlocked country in east Asia. "Mongolia?" He was, but his carer took him home

the_spiz TIz@

@blogstrop my wife went to the capital of Venezuela to get some banging things for Christmas table. Caracas? Yep, that's them...

DarkBeige Dark Beige@blogstrop my wife wants to go to Anchorage, but she's shy. Alaska? No, I'll ask her, she's my wife.

RockerRunner Captain Spiderpussy@blogstrop Saw a great band whilst on holiday in a prosperous state in south east asia... "Singapore?" Yes, but the drummer was brilliant.