Monday, 19 April 2010

Edible Clothes


I was in Battersea Park yesterday (18th April 2010) it was about 3pm, very sunny and I suddenly had a craving for a roast dinner, but I couldn't be bothered to move. It then struck me like an unreasonable Parent, edible clothes? Why has nobody else thought of this? Before you mention the edible thongs and knickers from Ann Summers, I cant think of anything more repulsive than eating somebodies more than likely shit stained sweaty undies, especially during a nice relaxing hot day in the park.

Giving it more thought than perhaps I should have, given the absolutely lovely company, I had a light bulb moment, a Eureka moment, all of a sudden I was up there with Bell (Alexander Graham, not -End), Einstein, and the other fella who forgot to put the milk out and saved trillions of people from death by flu, A FUCKING YORKSHIRE PUDDING SUN HAT, wear it all day, take it off and eat as the sun goes down? (Thats not a Sunday dinner you fat sack of pus I hear you scream), alright, calm down, for fuck sake, I haven't finished yet? To go with your snazzy Aunt Bessie head wear, wait for it, elbow length pork skin gloves, to keep you from burning in the sun, put them on raw in the morning, by about 4pm they would have cooked, peel them off and you have lovely crackling hands!!!!!

Erm, I'm still working on gravy and and a means to easily transport root vegetables about your person, once the entire ensamble is ready, I'll update you.

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